I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

God I missed the Internet. I'm in India, but not completely settled in because my stuff arrives by ship mid-September. I've been on the lovely campus now for almost a month. I've traveled to the Ajanta and Ellora caves, Nasik, and seen a lot in Pune itself.

I went on a waterfall hike. I'm such a city girl! I was bruised and unable to move for days! It was hilarious. I've attended two yoga sessions. I've been invited over by returning faculty. The students are friendly too.

However, all said and done I miss my friends and family. I miss nightlife. Note to self: must make friends to hang out with in the city.

I'm so used to moving, that I don't really miss NYC per se or the town that I lived in. I miss my network. It gets harder and harder to make friends the older I get. There are a few new faculty members here and as in all situations, new people bond. So that's great.

I'll try and update regularly.

Where are you from?

It is such a banal question. Yet whenever I meet new people I cringe at the inquiry. Where do I come from? Funny answer: my mother. Simple answer: India. But I feel the response is inadequate. It does not define me as I think the answer should. Where someone is from, is supposed to help other people understand a new acquaintance. Trying to find a succinct definition of myself leaves me struggling.

I was born in India, lived there for a few years, lived in England for a few, lived in Hong Kong for several years, moved back to India for a few, and I've lived in the States now for a few years. This is the background that defines me and to some extent (minus the US part, defines my sisters). We have friends all over the world. We have travelled through most of the world too. We're not afraid to move to another country. We're able to adapt to different cultures and lifestyles. My sisters, friends, and I fall under a category termed 'TCK'. This stands for "Third Culture Kids" (Yes. I do realise I am not a child anymore!). TCK "refers to someone who [as a child] has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and his or her own birth culture, into a third culture."

TCKs are amalgamations of various cultures. They can speak many languages, (curse in several), understand the customs of people that do not belong to their culture, religion, or race. TCKs have also, generally, tried food from all over the world. TCKs are able to break the boundaries that nation states form.

Why do people fight or go to war? The main reason is fear of the unknown. When people from all over the world live and learn together, understanding is created. So if Indians and Pakistanis, Israelis and Palestinians, Hutus and Tutsis, Catholics and Protestants, North Koreans and South Koreans, White Americans and Black Americans, Spaniards and Basques and so on and so forth around the world, went to school together, the globe would be a better and more peaceful place to live. It is so cliche, hippie, bleeding-heart liberal, and beauty pageantesqe, but my most fervent desire is for world peace and the end of discrimination.

From all my travels I've discovered that although our food, language, music, and religion may be different, we're all basically the same. Please, hold back that stunned emotion! This is why my favorite Shakespearean plays are Othello and The Merchant of Venice. Is our world drastically different from Othello’s or Shylock’s? Sadly, it’s not. Something needs to be done to change the discrimination, hatred, and violence that has occurred around the world since the beginning of time and continues to date.

Help change the world. You don’t have to save a cheerleader but you do have to travel. (People are trying to make flying less damaging to the environment). Explore the world for yourself. You won’t regret it (even if you do get Delhi belly). Get off the tourist-beaten path, absorb the culture of the country you're visiting. If you can afford to, help others experience the privilege. When people from all walks of life can travel all around the world, the global village will no longer be virtual, it will be real.

At my current school if someone has been there for ten or more years one is dubbed a 'lifer'. I can't even imagine what that is like. I think I will always have this need to travel and discover. I may not be a "lifer" or a Jersey girl, but my time in NJ is now an indelible part of my life. It is a new ingredient to add to the "where are you from?" answer. I will cherish the friendships I've formed here and I hope I'll see you during your travels.

A Celebration!

I saw Company last night with Zen: it was a fun day and night. We started the day with massages, lunch, and manicures and finished it up with dinner and a show. Company was interesting. I got home around 1am from the city and then spoke with one of my oldest friends, JC (we've known each other since we were 7!) in HK. She's getting married!

She went to Delhi for a few weeks, met this guy, and they're getting married in October! I'm so happy for her! And so another one bites the dust! However, I'd say the number of married people I know are less than the ones that are single. What is it about married people that always wants to set up their single friends?

It's difficult to get back into the dating game after a relationship ends. I've found I have to state, "I'm not gay" on numerous occasions to explain my single status. I also have to somehow prove that there is nothing wrong with me! But then again, maybe there is something wrong with me. Am I unwilling to settle? I'd say I have my list of "must haves" and "can't stands" and then there are other things that I am willing to compromise on.

Compromise though, is it the same as settling? No one is perfect and everyone in the world knows I'm not either. But what is it about being with someone? What is it? Fear of being alone? I've found myself and so many people I know really change when they are involved in a relationship. The logical side of me knows that that is bound to happen to some extent; but what really gets me is when people compromise on what they really stood for: politics etc. But am I insulting all the married people I know? Am I claiming something about them that I don't really comprehend?
Can people change? hell yeah! Do people grow? Of course they do...but there is something that gets stifled too, in numerous relationships.

Although there are those relationships which I have seen with my own two eyes that just ooze love and respect for one another: my sisters and their husbands and my best friend, MR and her husband, TL. Maybe, just maybe, I'll have that one day also. I sincerely hope JC and her fiancee have that relationship too.

As the show was all about the single vs married, I found two scenes in Company really relevant to me:

1.Bobby asks a friend to marry him just so other people will stop talking about them being single.

2. Bobby wonders if he had let the one he was supposed to marry, go.

I've thought about both. But in the end I know I have not been in the right relationship. But then again... :)


Being single opens up a whole different world. I don't need a relationship to complete me. I'd like to end with some advice: Life is too short. Whether you're single or married, don't judge. Simply, enjoy the ride and make the most of it.

I end with apt U2 lyrics:

A Celebration

Shake! Shake!

Don't go
I believe in a celebration
I believe you set me free
I believe you can lose this chains
I believe you can dance with me
Dance with me

Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!

I believe in the third world war
I believe in the atomic bomb
I believe in the powers that be
But they won't overpower me

And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go

Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!

And we don't have the time
And everything goes 'round and 'round
And we don't have the time
To watch the world go tumbling down

Go! Go!

I believe in the bells of Christ's Church
Ringing for this land
I believe in the cells of Mount Joy
Doesn't understand

And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go

I believe in the walls of Jericho (And you...)
I believe they're coming down (Can go there too)
I belive in this city's children (And you... )
I believe the trumpet's sound (can go go go go)

And you can go there too
And you can go go go go...

I believe in what I'm doing
What am I doing here...

Chaos, Colors, and Comedy

One of my closest friends went to India with me this summer. We did a lot of sight seeing, she got to experience what it's like to live with my parents, and we ate lots and lots of food. Jenn absolutely fell in love with India we're planning our next trip; this time we'll do South India.

It was wonderful to be in Delhi, chaos and all. Agra, the city of my birth, was to put it mildly, HOT. I have to admit no matter how many times I see the Taj Mahal, it's still magnificent.

We went to Rajasthan as well : Jaipur and Udaipur.

Jaipur is such a colorful city from the clothes the people wear, to the decorations on the camels and elephants, it's all about color.

While in Jaipur we did a "little" bit of shopping. We were looking for things for my family. We were drowning in colors : reds, pinks, yellows, blues, greens, purples....it was endless.

My dad picked out something for Jenn's parents, my niece, my mum, my younger sister, me, and then he needed to find something for my older sister.

"Do you have anything in black?" he asked.