It is such a banal question. Yet whenever I meet new people I cringe at the inquiry. Where do I come from? Funny answer: my mother. Simple answer: India. But I feel the response is inadequate. It does not define me as I think the answer should. Where someone is from, is supposed to help other people understand a new acquaintance. Trying to find a succinct definition of myself leaves me struggling.
I was born in India, lived there for a few years, lived in England for a few, lived in Hong Kong for several years, moved back to India for a few, and I've lived in the States now for a few years. This is the background that defines me and to some extent (minus the US part, defines my sisters). We have friends all over the world. We have travelled through most of the world too. We're not afraid to move to another country. We're able to adapt to different cultures and lifestyles. My sisters, friends, and I fall under a category termed 'TCK'. This stands for "Third Culture Kids" (Yes. I do realise I am not a child anymore!). TCK "refers to someone who [as a child] has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and his or her own birth culture, into a third culture."
TCKs are amalgamations of various cultures. They can speak many languages, (curse in several), understand the customs of people that do not belong to their culture, religion, or race. TCKs have also, generally, tried food from all over the world. TCKs are able to break the boundaries that nation states form.
Why do people fight or go to war? The main reason is fear of the unknown. When people from all over the world live and learn together, understanding is created. So if Indians and Pakistanis, Israelis and Palestinians, Hutus and Tutsis, Catholics and Protestants, North Koreans and South Koreans, White Americans and Black Americans, Spaniards and Basques and so on and so forth around the world, went to school together, the globe would be a better and more peaceful place to live. It is so cliche, hippie, bleeding-heart liberal, and beauty pageantesqe, but my most fervent desire is for world peace and the end of discrimination.
From all my travels I've discovered that although our food, language, music, and religion may be different, we're all basically the same. Please, hold back that stunned emotion! This is why my favorite Shakespearean plays are Othello and The Merchant of Venice. Is our world drastically different from Othello’s or Shylock’s? Sadly, it’s not. Something needs to be done to change the discrimination, hatred, and violence that has occurred around the world since the beginning of time and continues to date.
Help change the world. You don’t have to save a cheerleader but you do have to travel. (People are trying to make flying less damaging to the environment). Explore the world for yourself. You won’t regret it (even if you do get Delhi belly). Get off the tourist-beaten path, absorb the culture of the country you're visiting. If you can afford to, help others experience the privilege. When people from all walks of life can travel all around the world, the global village will no longer be virtual, it will be real.
At my current school if someone has been there for ten or more years one is dubbed a 'lifer'. I can't even imagine what that is like. I think I will always have this need to travel and discover. I may not be a "lifer" or a Jersey girl, but my time in NJ is now an indelible part of my life. It is a new ingredient to add to the "where are you from?" answer. I will cherish the friendships I've formed here and I hope I'll see you during your travels.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Favourite Things
After reading Zen's post on guilty pleasures, I got thinking about things I like to do, but cannot do and do not do on a regular basis. Not all of these are guilty pleasures...then again...maybe they are. Who am I kidding?!
"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad":
1. Reading Cosmo, People, Stardust
2. Whipped cream from the can
3. Watching hours of trash TV
4. Movie marathons
5. Wearing expensive make-up
6. Talking endlessly on the phone
7. Spending the whole day surfing the net
8. Not leaving my apartment..avoiding all responsibilities
9. Buying cute outfits for my niece
10. Coffee or Dulce de Leche ice-cream.
"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad":
1. Reading Cosmo, People, Stardust
2. Whipped cream from the can
3. Watching hours of trash TV
4. Movie marathons
5. Wearing expensive make-up
6. Talking endlessly on the phone
7. Spending the whole day surfing the net
8. Not leaving my apartment..avoiding all responsibilities
9. Buying cute outfits for my niece
10. Coffee or Dulce de Leche ice-cream.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Geretty Gate
I can't believe we're in the 21st Century and the Indian courts are adding another frivolous case to the system. Sheesh!The Shilpa Shetty, Richard Gere incident (which I have termed Geretty, you like?)hurt someone's sentiments? Are you kidding me?
You know what hurts my sensibilities? People not talking about sex and/or affection in India. The country needs to be educated on sex, AIDS, and homosexuality. Who do I file a complaint with for that? Who can I sue to get publicity for that? The law-makers need to look at our outdated laws, concentrate on issues that will help Indians, and really do all they can to keep stupidity out of the court rooms.
Someone please tell me where to sign up for a committee for that!
You know what hurts my sensibilities? People not talking about sex and/or affection in India. The country needs to be educated on sex, AIDS, and homosexuality. Who do I file a complaint with for that? Who can I sue to get publicity for that? The law-makers need to look at our outdated laws, concentrate on issues that will help Indians, and really do all they can to keep stupidity out of the court rooms.
Someone please tell me where to sign up for a committee for that!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Rampage, Reaction, and Race
The Virgina Tech shooting has shocked the world. Students, faculty, and staff could not stop talking about the incident at work today. With more details just coming out about this sad event, people are dealing with the tragedy online. There are several groups on Facebook right now lashing out at the shooter and blaming immigration and Asians.
This knee-jerk racist reaction never fails to upset me. If the perpetrator was Arab/Muslim/Black/Mexican/Female/Other Immigrant there would have been another set of issues raised. However, if it was a white man, would the world suddenly turn against that group? No. The main concern then would be to find out why the incident took place. That should be the heart of the matter and individuals should not focus on race/gender/immigration status.
Other points for serious consideration: gun laws and why violent situations in schools and colleges occur more in the United States than in other countries. If these topics are discussed/explored and dealt with, then maybe schools and universities -the beginning of the rest of someone's life- can be safe havens again for all of us.
As a community and nation recovers, I hope the powers that be, and those that individuals believe in, bring peace, comfort, and love to those most dearly affected by the incident.
This knee-jerk racist reaction never fails to upset me. If the perpetrator was Arab/Muslim/Black/Mexican/Female/Other Immigrant there would have been another set of issues raised. However, if it was a white man, would the world suddenly turn against that group? No. The main concern then would be to find out why the incident took place. That should be the heart of the matter and individuals should not focus on race/gender/immigration status.
Other points for serious consideration: gun laws and why violent situations in schools and colleges occur more in the United States than in other countries. If these topics are discussed/explored and dealt with, then maybe schools and universities -the beginning of the rest of someone's life- can be safe havens again for all of us.
As a community and nation recovers, I hope the powers that be, and those that individuals believe in, bring peace, comfort, and love to those most dearly affected by the incident.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Children Are Our Future
A woman at work was accepting an award for "great teaching" and she quoted Whitney Houston. Now the "Greatest Love of All" was a very popular song in its day but Houston has been through a whole lot since then. Does quoting her to young, impressionable minds, in some way condone her drug use? Are we now teaching children that "crack is whack"? Are we letting them know that spousal abuse is OK?
Anyhow, this song was quoted once more at a charity auction raising money for CRY. and it really annoyed me again. What is the song's real point? That is an issue for another day. However, I will say something about the future of America.
I love my students; they are interesting, fun, and curious. At times though, I am stunned by things that come out of their mouths:
"Racism does not exist in the world anymore."
"What is so significant about Maya Angelou's life? Why do we read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings? Does she really think she is all that?"
-This after we read Night, another autobiography. None of my students questioned the need for that book to be written.
More statements?
"Women are not discriminated against anymore."
In the same class, same day, a young boy of 15 says, "The rest of the world will laugh at us if we have a woman President."
Begin sarcasm-Yes, dear! Of course 'backward' nations in Asia and Africa will be shocked by a woman President. Nations that have elected women leaders will not be pleased with America. It would most certainly be a sad state of affairs. End sarcasm.
With the recent outrage at Imus's statement -which was both racist and sexist, I have come to the conclusion children really do need to be "taught well" to "lead the way."
At home, at school, through media, children really need to be aware of the things that go on in the world around them. It's easy to think, "I'm not racist, I have friends of a different race," and "I'm not sexist, my mother works;" yet what makes someone unprejudiced? Can we be unprejudiced? Don't we all have our biases? Do some suppress their ideas, are others more educated? What really goes on? I believe it is about exposure and education.
I had a teacher in HK that stated, "I don't see colour in humans." After I did some research I realised he wasn't colour-blind. Then I was vexed. It's kind of like a man stating, "I don't see gender."
I would like someone to see my colour: to acknowledge it, accept it, and deal with it. Does it define me? In some respects, yes it does; in other respects, it shouldn't.
We know that race and gender are still significant polarizers not only in the political arena but in every day life. Why else would there be a raging debate in the United States about the democratic presidential candidates -Clinton and Obama?
Racism and sexism. The mistrust of women and black men. All too evident in Shakespeare's Othello. As we read the play in class, it's interesting to see students realise how much the world hasn't changed. Hopefully, if we keep teaching them, not just in the classroom, but in all areas of their lives, there will be a real change in the world.
To end on a lighter note, I love the Reduced Shakespeare Company, check out the Othello rap.
Anyhow, this song was quoted once more at a charity auction raising money for CRY. and it really annoyed me again. What is the song's real point? That is an issue for another day. However, I will say something about the future of America.
I love my students; they are interesting, fun, and curious. At times though, I am stunned by things that come out of their mouths:
"Racism does not exist in the world anymore."
"What is so significant about Maya Angelou's life? Why do we read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings? Does she really think she is all that?"
-This after we read Night, another autobiography. None of my students questioned the need for that book to be written.
More statements?
"Women are not discriminated against anymore."
In the same class, same day, a young boy of 15 says, "The rest of the world will laugh at us if we have a woman President."
Begin sarcasm-Yes, dear! Of course 'backward' nations in Asia and Africa will be shocked by a woman President. Nations that have elected women leaders will not be pleased with America. It would most certainly be a sad state of affairs. End sarcasm.
With the recent outrage at Imus's statement -which was both racist and sexist, I have come to the conclusion children really do need to be "taught well" to "lead the way."
At home, at school, through media, children really need to be aware of the things that go on in the world around them. It's easy to think, "I'm not racist, I have friends of a different race," and "I'm not sexist, my mother works;" yet what makes someone unprejudiced? Can we be unprejudiced? Don't we all have our biases? Do some suppress their ideas, are others more educated? What really goes on? I believe it is about exposure and education.
I had a teacher in HK that stated, "I don't see colour in humans." After I did some research I realised he wasn't colour-blind. Then I was vexed. It's kind of like a man stating, "I don't see gender."
I would like someone to see my colour: to acknowledge it, accept it, and deal with it. Does it define me? In some respects, yes it does; in other respects, it shouldn't.
We know that race and gender are still significant polarizers not only in the political arena but in every day life. Why else would there be a raging debate in the United States about the democratic presidential candidates -Clinton and Obama?
Racism and sexism. The mistrust of women and black men. All too evident in Shakespeare's Othello. As we read the play in class, it's interesting to see students realise how much the world hasn't changed. Hopefully, if we keep teaching them, not just in the classroom, but in all areas of their lives, there will be a real change in the world.
To end on a lighter note, I love the Reduced Shakespeare Company, check out the Othello rap.
Friday, April 6, 2007
A Celebration!
I saw Company last night with Zen: it was a fun day and night. We started the day with massages, lunch, and manicures and finished it up with dinner and a show. Company was interesting. I got home around 1am from the city and then spoke with one of my oldest friends, JC (we've known each other since we were 7!) in HK. She's getting married!
She went to Delhi for a few weeks, met this guy, and they're getting married in October! I'm so happy for her! And so another one bites the dust! However, I'd say the number of married people I know are less than the ones that are single. What is it about married people that always wants to set up their single friends?
It's difficult to get back into the dating game after a relationship ends. I've found I have to state, "I'm not gay" on numerous occasions to explain my single status. I also have to somehow prove that there is nothing wrong with me! But then again, maybe there is something wrong with me. Am I unwilling to settle? I'd say I have my list of "must haves" and "can't stands" and then there are other things that I am willing to compromise on.
Compromise though, is it the same as settling? No one is perfect and everyone in the world knows I'm not either. But what is it about being with someone? What is it? Fear of being alone? I've found myself and so many people I know really change when they are involved in a relationship. The logical side of me knows that that is bound to happen to some extent; but what really gets me is when people compromise on what they really stood for: politics etc. But am I insulting all the married people I know? Am I claiming something about them that I don't really comprehend?
Can people change? hell yeah! Do people grow? Of course they do...but there is something that gets stifled too, in numerous relationships.
Although there are those relationships which I have seen with my own two eyes that just ooze love and respect for one another: my sisters and their husbands and my best friend, MR and her husband, TL. Maybe, just maybe, I'll have that one day also. I sincerely hope JC and her fiancee have that relationship too.
As the show was all about the single vs married, I found two scenes in Company really relevant to me:
1.Bobby asks a friend to marry him just so other people will stop talking about them being single.
2. Bobby wonders if he had let the one he was supposed to marry, go.
I've thought about both. But in the end I know I have not been in the right relationship. But then again... :)
Being single opens up a whole different world. I don't need a relationship to complete me. I'd like to end with some advice: Life is too short. Whether you're single or married, don't judge. Simply, enjoy the ride and make the most of it.
I end with apt U2 lyrics:
A Celebration
Shake! Shake!
Don't go
I believe in a celebration
I believe you set me free
I believe you can lose this chains
I believe you can dance with me
Dance with me
Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!
I believe in the third world war
I believe in the atomic bomb
I believe in the powers that be
But they won't overpower me
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go
Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!
And we don't have the time
And everything goes 'round and 'round
And we don't have the time
To watch the world go tumbling down
Go! Go!
I believe in the bells of Christ's Church
Ringing for this land
I believe in the cells of Mount Joy
Doesn't understand
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go
I believe in the walls of Jericho (And you...)
I believe they're coming down (Can go there too)
I belive in this city's children (And you... )
I believe the trumpet's sound (can go go go go)
And you can go there too
And you can go go go go...
I believe in what I'm doing
What am I doing here...
She went to Delhi for a few weeks, met this guy, and they're getting married in October! I'm so happy for her! And so another one bites the dust! However, I'd say the number of married people I know are less than the ones that are single. What is it about married people that always wants to set up their single friends?
It's difficult to get back into the dating game after a relationship ends. I've found I have to state, "I'm not gay" on numerous occasions to explain my single status. I also have to somehow prove that there is nothing wrong with me! But then again, maybe there is something wrong with me. Am I unwilling to settle? I'd say I have my list of "must haves" and "can't stands" and then there are other things that I am willing to compromise on.
Compromise though, is it the same as settling? No one is perfect and everyone in the world knows I'm not either. But what is it about being with someone? What is it? Fear of being alone? I've found myself and so many people I know really change when they are involved in a relationship. The logical side of me knows that that is bound to happen to some extent; but what really gets me is when people compromise on what they really stood for: politics etc. But am I insulting all the married people I know? Am I claiming something about them that I don't really comprehend?
Can people change? hell yeah! Do people grow? Of course they do...but there is something that gets stifled too, in numerous relationships.
Although there are those relationships which I have seen with my own two eyes that just ooze love and respect for one another: my sisters and their husbands and my best friend, MR and her husband, TL. Maybe, just maybe, I'll have that one day also. I sincerely hope JC and her fiancee have that relationship too.
As the show was all about the single vs married, I found two scenes in Company really relevant to me:
1.Bobby asks a friend to marry him just so other people will stop talking about them being single.
2. Bobby wonders if he had let the one he was supposed to marry, go.
I've thought about both. But in the end I know I have not been in the right relationship. But then again... :)
Being single opens up a whole different world. I don't need a relationship to complete me. I'd like to end with some advice: Life is too short. Whether you're single or married, don't judge. Simply, enjoy the ride and make the most of it.
I end with apt U2 lyrics:
A Celebration
Shake! Shake!
Don't go
I believe in a celebration
I believe you set me free
I believe you can lose this chains
I believe you can dance with me
Dance with me
Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!
I believe in the third world war
I believe in the atomic bomb
I believe in the powers that be
But they won't overpower me
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go
Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!
And we don't have the time
And everything goes 'round and 'round
And we don't have the time
To watch the world go tumbling down
Go! Go!
I believe in the bells of Christ's Church
Ringing for this land
I believe in the cells of Mount Joy
Doesn't understand
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go
I believe in the walls of Jericho (And you...)
I believe they're coming down (Can go there too)
I belive in this city's children (And you... )
I believe the trumpet's sound (can go go go go)
And you can go there too
And you can go go go go...
I believe in what I'm doing
What am I doing here...
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